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<title>Vampiric Carol Singers (+ Snow) by CoralAsh</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444539">Vampiric Carol Singers (+ Snow)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralAsh/pseuds/CoralAsh'>CoralAsh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>What We Do in the Shadows (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Sledding</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:42:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralAsh/pseuds/CoralAsh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone accidentally invites vampires into the house around Christmas. Guillermo and Nandor go sledding while they wait out the murderous vampire carol singers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Guillermo de la Cruz &amp; Nandor the Relentless</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>non-denominational winter celebrational fandom gift exchangional extravaganza</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Vampiric Carol Singers (+ Snow)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalmonEllaa/gifts">SalmonEllaa</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“There have been more vampire assassins building up to an attack for weeks now,” Guillermo spoke, peeking out through an upstairs curtain at the garden as he clutched a stake. Two bandoliers crossed his chest, each loop bristling with vampire-murdering weapons. “I don’t know, I think maybe we should get out of the house. Lay low until it all… blows over.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>The door inched open, a camera poking through as much as there was enough space. A group of people stood before the house, bedecked in formal outfits that had not seen the light of day in centuries. A few of them were bloodstained.</p><p>“Oh, it is just carol singers.” A hand reached into the frame as the camera pulled back, focusing on Nandor’s pointy grin. He opened the door the rest of the way. “Early holiday dinner.”</p><p>“Come in!”</p><p>Fangs flashed. A scream came from off-camera, the camera tipping back until all that was visible was the ceiling.</p><p>- - -</p><p>Guillermo started at the scream and drew a pair of wicked-looking stakes. “Oh, great.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>The camera tipped back over. There were ankles and stabbing noises and a fair bit of snarling.</p><p>“I’m not getting that camera.”</p><p>Skin sizzled. The snarling was a fair bit more pained now.</p><p>- - -</p><p>“Nadja and Laszlo are going to some hotel to wait out until this place is safe again,” Guillermo said, carefully painting the teeth on an armed bear trap with holy water. “Colin Robinson is, uh, somewhere. Nandor and I are going sledding.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>“It is not ideal, no, but it is better than dying.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>A pair of bats flew over the vulva hedges.</p><p>- - -</p><p>Daylight. Colin Robinson drove the car as the camera kept dipping down and then back up again. “You see, when you weigh the pros and cons of gas-powered vehicles against-”</p><p> </p><p>“I will not sneak out of my house through the back like an ordinary-”</p><p> </p><p>Guillermo held a finger up to his lips and lifted the top of a tiny cardboard box. Inside was a red silk lining with a bat curled up with its wings around itself, clearly sleeping.</p><p>“It should be fine as long as I disarm all the traps afterward. I just need to get rid of all the- uh, vampiric carolers before they come back.” He grinned, nervously</p><p>“I don’t think I’ve done proper snow stuff for… more than ten years, now. Familiars don’t get lots of days off and defending them against stabbings- well. It will be nice to have a holiday. Kind of.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>“We can’t. Uh. Actually go sledding up the mountain because we actually need the ski lifts and that only operates during daylight. And I can’t go skiing because.” Guillermo made a vague stabbing motion at a ski pole leaning against a side of the hotel lobby.</p><p>- - -</p><p>“Even Guillermo cannot behead me with this sled,” Nandor said proudly as he leaned on the inflated plastic thing, a GoPro strapped to his forehead. “I have found an area with snow that we can do this sledding in.”</p><p>“Actually, master-”</p><p>“Silence, Guillermo.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>Guillermo dug his chin into his scarf and panted as he tried to move up the hill. Nandor sat on the sled behind him patiently. “Move, Guillermo.”</p><p>“You’re too heavy, master.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>There was a bit of shuffling on the top of the kind-of snow mountain culminating in a flurry of soft snow being flung into the air and the sled tipping over.</p><p>- - -</p><p>Guillermo wiped his sleeve over the camera’s lens after helping the operator up and then turned back. “Uh, master, that’s not how you do sledding.”</p><p>A bat debatted onto the sled. “I went down, and now I am up again. I do not understand the meaning of this.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>Nandor stayed on the sled as Guillermo pushed it down, watching for a few seconds as it went down the slope without falling this time.</p><p>“Pull me up!”</p><p>- - -</p><p>“I like it. It’s kind of like flying-”</p><p>“Except you are on the ground, have no wings, cannot control where you go, and-”</p><p>“Aren’t flying.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>The sled tipped over again the one time Nandor insisted Guillermo get up with him, shaking the two bodies out at various points along the hill. And the second time, too.</p><p>- - -</p><p>“Sooo we’re making snowmen now!” Guillermo beamed, putting the finishing touches on a squashed ball of snow. “That’s the base- I’ll just go make a few more, stack stuff up, and… yeah! Haven’t done this in years.”</p><p>Nandor looked at the pile of snow skeptically. “I am supposed to do this with my hands?”</p><p>- - -</p><p>Bits of ice stuck to mittened hands as Guillermo carefully placed two triangular rocks into the face of the snowman, giving it a fanged appearance.</p><p>“I found the rocks,” Nandor looked pleased.</p><p>“Very impressive, master. Very scary.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>“I think it should be alright to go home tomorrow,” Guillermo shrugged, looking out through the window of the hotel at the streets. “I don’t know, I’ll go patrol or something. It’s just… something doesn’t feel right.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>A vampire leapt out of the shadows. Guillermo ducked, grabbed a nearby ski pole, and hammered it in with the deflated sled. A suspiciously vampire-shaped pile of ash resulted.</p><p>“Well, that explains the bad feeling.”</p><p>- - -</p><p>“Yeah, they’re probably gone, but I think we’re just going to stay here for another day. Or a few more. It’s not like the murder vampires are in any hurry to kill themselves.”</p>
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